When I was younger in elementary school I was sure that I was ahead of my peers I didn't play and I had no interest in petty classroom dramas . It is only looking back that I realise that I was the one who was and is behind. I didn't play their games because I didn't know how. I hadn't learned how to play like the other children. I had no interest in their dramas because I didn't understand them.
Now I'm still behind only I'm not just behind my neurotypical peers I'm behind others like me. They get out. They have jobs and go to programming. I stay home do a few chores and the rest of my day is filled with childlike joys. how silly is it that at nearly twenty I've just learned how to play? That all I've asked for for my upcoming birthday is a doll.
I dream of having a "grown up life" of being a homemaker and a helpmeet. Of holding down a job and helping people. I don't see it happening though. Like others in my situation I ask who but God could want me? It seems impossible. I'm afraid of sleeping over at a friends house let alone moving away from home and becoming independent or having a "grown up life"
Sincerely
Chloe and Indy
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Miss Chloe,
ReplyDeletePlease don't put pressure on yourself because you will be 20. They say in life timing is everything and as I get older I believe this. Your Mom and I never took part in classroom dramas because we have enough going on elsewhere we didn't need to deal with petty stuff. I think it is cool that you want a doll for your birthday. I never played with dolls and to this day honestly they frighten me. If one of my neices brings me a doll I don't know what to do with it, I'm much more comfortable with cars and trucks. Take the time learn to play. Be happy with who you are. I am blessed everyday because you are in my life.
Luv You Lots
Auntie K